NFL 2013: Midseason Predictions

Met Life Stadium, site of SuperBowl XLVIII (Photo: Gabriel Argudo Jr. (CC BY-SA 2.0))

It’s midseason–give or take–and here are my updated projections, served with a side of crow to be enjoyed later, as always.

(Key: #1 SEED, Division Champion, Wildcard.)

AFC Standings

East
New England 12-4
NY Jets 10-6
Buffalo 5-11
Miami 4-12

What the hell is happening in New York (Part One)? Rex Ryan looks to save his job for another year and some team out there loses a great defensive coordinator. Meanwhile, the circus moves to Miami and another “Dream Team” bites the dust

North
Cincinnati 11-5
Cleveland 8-8
Baltimore 7-9
Pittsburgh 4-12

The factory of sadness temporarily moves to Pittsburgh, and life in Cleveland is just a little bit less hopeless.

South
Indianapolis 12-4
Tennessee 8-8
Houston 6-10
Jacksonville 1-15

Andrew Luck and the Colts are for real. Matt Shaub and the Texas are not. (And get well soon, Coach Kubiak.)

West
DENVER 14-2
Kansas City 12-4
San Diego 9-7
Oakland 4-12

I knew KC would get better. I did not expect them to get 9-0 better. But they still have to play Denver twice and we’re talking Peyton Manning vs. Alex Smith here. Reality check time.

Bloggerhood Etc. 10/7/13

Image: Jon Bois/SB Nation

This week’s list begins with an unusual category, before continuing on to some more typical ones. Here we go!

Best Chance the Giants Have to Win a Game This Season. “Breaking Madden: In which the Eagles get drunk and give up 2,400 yards in a single game” by Jon Bois at SB Nation.

I. WE GIVE THE GIANTS THE BEST OFFENSIVE LINE IN THE HISTORY OF FOOTBALL. I released all of the Giants’ starting offensive linemen and replaced them with seven-foot-tall monsters …

II. WE GIVE THE GIANTS THE BEST RUNNING BACK COMMITTEE IN THE HISTORY OF FOOTBALL. David Wilson and friends are gone. This is the Giants’ new running back depth chart: Adrian Peterson, Marshawn Lynch, Jamaal Charles, (and) LeSean McCoy …

III. WE GET THE EAGLES DRUNK.

The result? 231 points and 2,458 rushing yards in one game! Meanwhile, in real life, the not-so-giant Giants lost to the sober Eagles 36-21.

Best Parenting Post. “Two Tales Involving 350 Kids, Entitlement and Lessons in Parenting and Life” by Cornelia Seigneur at The Huffington Post.

Our children will make mistakes. They are not perfect, and we need to own up to that. Heck, we are not either, right? That is OK. It does not mean we, as parents are bad people. It just means our kids are human and like all human beings, they too need to own up to their mistakes.

One of the most important responsibilities of a parent I feel is to teach our children how to say sorry. It is amazing the healing that takes place in our lives and the lives of others, as human beings, when the words “sorry” are communicated.

Best Repost. “Caregiver Beatitudes” by Robert Anthony Martin at Abnormal Anabaptist.

In the summer of 2012, my wife and I began a rather interesting journey together.  And by “interesting” I mean the same sort of “interesting” that is implied in the ancient apocryphal Chinese curse “May you live in interesting times”. You see, my wife was diagnosed in July 2012 with (to use the medical techno-geeky terminology) Type II invasive ductal carcinoma.  For those of you less involved in the whole process, this is breast cancer.

A year later, she is a breast-cancer survivor.

Best Photo Essay. “A Brief History of the Computer” at Time Magazine.

Photo: Jerry Cooke/Corbis

Best Review of an Awful Album. “We Will Rock You: Miley Cyrus’ New Record Is F**king Horrible” by Jon Hunt at l’etoile.

I keep trying to think of a metaphor for this thing, and I keep coming back to this: a clown farting. That’s an utterly witless metaphor, so let me explain. Just imagine — the guy puts on his clown suit and his big red shoes in order to entertain a crowd of engaged children. And instead of producing humor, even of the horn-honking, capering variety, he just blats away loudly. Maybe he ate some beans that day, or just some bad eggs at breakfast. Farts are occasionally funny, at the lowest possible level — we’ve all laughed at them at some point in our life — but an explosion of gas caused by stomach upset isn’t funny, it’s just loud and awful and slightly painful. Just imagine the guy, standing there in his clown suit, frown on his face, unable to stop farting. That’s this album.

Best Question. “About 15% of Americans live in poverty, so why is no one talking about it?” by Daniel A. Medina in The Guardian.

In a nation where, according to the US Census Bureau’s poverty statistics released last month, 46.5 million people (roughly 15%) of the nation’s population lives in poverty, the idea that the media would not cover such a pressing human interest story because of financial troubles is misguided, if not inexcusable. It represents a failure on the part of the industry in fulfilling its role in serving the public interest.

Favorite Saint Namesake. “Pope Francis’ homily during Mass in Assisi [Full text]” transcribed by Catherine Harmon in Catholic World Report (translation by Vatican Radio).

Franciscan peace is not something saccharine. Hardly! That is not the real Saint Francis! Nor is it a kind of pantheistic harmony with forces of the cosmos … The peace of Saint Francis is the peace of Christ.

Benedict may still be my favorite saint, but Francis is my favorite pope. May God bless him and grant him a long ministry.

Best Video. “Johnny T’s NYC Tourist Tips” by Glove and Boots (via YouTube).

“Welcome to New York City … (now) get out of the way!”

The Power of Homerism

Ryan Kerrigan’s consistent QB pressure has been one of the few positives for the Redskins so far this season. (AP Photo/ Marcio Jose Sanchez)

Call me a homer. I’ll admit it.

I greatly underestimated the effect that Robert Griffin III’s surgery and the second half of the $36 million cap penalty would have on the Washington Redskins.

Call it wishful thinking, but I blew it.

I wish I could call it a one-time blunder, but I made a similar mistake last year. In that case you can blame “homerism-by-association.”

Because my wife is a New Orleans Saints fan. And it was for that reason that I greatly underestimated the effect last year’s bounty scandal and suspension of head coach Sean Payton would have on the Saints.

The parallels are numerous, and yet I refused to see them. My bad.

But, in spite of that, I’m feeling okay about the Redskins this year for three reasons.

They could have gotten off to a worse start.

The Saints lost their first four games before they got back on track. By then the season was lost and they were left playing for respectability. The Redskins, however, pulled out a win Sunday against Oakland. “Yes,”  you say, “but it was against Oakland.” I don’t care. A win is a win. Now they have a week off to get their “stuff” together before playing the Cowboys. There’s still time to turn the team around and salvage a respectable season.

They could be in a bigger hole.

Face it, the NFC East blows this year. The Cowboys are in first place at 2-2, the Eagles and the Redskins are tied for second at 1-3, and the Giants are in the cellar and winless so far. An 8-8 team could take the division. In comparison, Atlanta ran away with the NFC South last year and the Saints couldn’t do anything about it—sweeping their rivals gave them bragging rights, but not much else.

It gets better.

One year later, the Saints are undefeated after the first four games of the season. A complete reversal from last year. No matter how this season plays out for the Redskins, the pieces are in place for a successful team down the road. Next year,  Griffin will have had a full offseason and a complete training camp on a fully-recovered right knee. The team will also have its cap space back and be able to bring in some key free agents (smart signings, please, not flashy ones) to help out in the secondary and on the offensive line.

Yes, we Redskins fans have all said “wait until next year” far too many times over the last two decades, but this is different. We have the core of a young team that’s had a taste of success and wants more. In a division where the Giants have collapsed, the Cowboys are on the road to cap hell, and the Eagles are just starting to rebuild, the Redskins are in the best position to become a serious Super Bowl contender for the first time since Joe Gibbs’ original retirement.

It’s been a long time coming, but I still have hope.

One more thing, given the struggles the Saints endured last season and the train wreck the Giants are currently experiencing, I don’t want a Super Bowl to ever be played at FedEx Field or any other stadium the Redskins call home. Ever.

In fact, if the NFL prefers, they can just move the game to Jerry World. Permanently.

Bloggerhood Etc. 9/9/13

“Hey batter, batter, batter!” Photo: Skymall.com

I begin this week’s entry with a tie for funniest post—both from SB Nation.

Best Distraction. “Browsing the Sports Section of Sky Mall” by Bill Hanstock.

You may know SkyMall from being on a plane and suddenly realizing you forgot to bring anything to read. Dang ittttttt. But we’re here to let you know that SkyMall is online and you can purchase any number of sporting goods, accessories and collectables right through their handy website!

I love Skymall! And now I can enjoy their catalog without the cost of a plane ticket. O happy day!

And …

Best Video Game Character. “Breaking Madden: Meet CLARENCE BEEFTANK, the Jaguars’ five-foot, 400-pound quarterback” by Jon Bois.

He is indestructible. Trying to injure BEEFTANK is like trying to puncture a cinder block. He runs like the roundest of freight trains. He is like Pac-Man, only his maze is of the existential sort that funnels him through the cockles of football’s pure heart. He can frequently bowl over multiple defenders in a single run. He can also throw very, very far, a skill that does not fit into his game at all … (but) his throwing power is fully tempered by his thorough inability to throw with any degree of accuracy.

Bois makes up for this apparent flaw by never throwing the ball. BEEFTANK either hands off to Maurice Jones-Drew or runs the ball himself. He’s all-but-impossible to bring down, but tends to tip over while cutting. And no matter what, the Jags still lose.

Moving on to some of the more serious and thought-provoking posts of the week.

Best Open Letter. “Authors and​ Booksellers: Join The Indies First Movement” by Sherman Alexie at the American Booksellers Association website.

Here’s the plan: We book nerds will become booksellers. We will make recommendations. We will practice nepotism and urge readers to buy multiple copies of our friends’ books. Maybe you’ll sign and sell books of your own in the process. I think the collective results could be mind-boggling (maybe even world-changing).

Sounds great! I’m in!

Most Moving. “The Good Father: Of God, Doubt, and Gay Relationships” by Stephen at Sacred Tension.

One Sunday morning, when I was at the end of my rope, I was on my knees during mass crying out to God for an answer. And then something happened.

I don’t know how, but I suddenly knew that God was there with me. I knew that His holiness was wrapped all around me, gathering about me like heavy smoke. In the midst of that holiness, I didn’t feel judged, I didn’t feel cast away – I felt safe. Safe for the first time in years.

Best Start to a Long Overdue Conversation. “Christians, Divorce, and Marriage: On Being Excluded from Conversations” by Natalie Trust.

In the past seven years, people have questioned if I was bitter, if I had forgiven, it I would ever want to get married again, and of course were always curious if I had missed any red flags.

Very, very rarely have people asked me something like, “What was it like to go from married to single all of the sudden? Tell me about you experience.” Or “How does it feel for you to go to weddings or events where couples are a predominant part of the crowd?”

I think we can ask better questions.

And to end on a lighter note, and because it’s one of the most stunning videos I’ve seen in a long time …

Best Video. “Atlas” by Coldplay (via YouTube)

Switch the player to full screen. Put on headphones. You will want to be immersed in this video.

When Your Childhood Sports Hero Tweets You

Photo: Neil Leifer/Sports Illustrated (via SI.com)

This is so far beyond awesome! There are no words!

@davidozab Thanks for the shout and your support!

— Larry Brown (@LarryBrown43) September 4, 2013