Bloggerhood Etc. 9/9/13

Baseball cannon!

“Hey batter, batter, batter!” Photo: Skymall.com

I begin this week’s entry with a tie for funniest post—both from SB Nation.

Best Distraction.Browsing the Sports Section of Sky Mall” by Bill Hanstock.

You may know SkyMall from being on a plane and suddenly realizing you forgot to bring anything to read. Dang ittttttt. But we’re here to let you know that SkyMall is online and you can purchase any number of sporting goods, accessories and collectables right through their handy website!

I love Skymall! And now I can enjoy their catalog without the cost of a plane ticket. O happy day!

And …

Best Video Game Character. Breaking Madden: Meet CLARENCE BEEFTANK, the Jaguars’ five-foot, 400-pound quarterback” by Jon Bois.

He is indestructible. Trying to injure BEEFTANK is like trying to puncture a cinder block. He runs like the roundest of freight trains. He is like Pac-Man, only his maze is of the existential sort that funnels him through the cockles of football’s pure heart. He can frequently bowl over multiple defenders in a single run. He can also throw very, very far, a skill that does not fit into his game at all … (but) his throwing power is fully tempered by his thorough inability to throw with any degree of accuracy.

Bois makes up for this apparent flaw by never throwing the ball. BEEFTANK either hands off to Maurice Jones-Drew or runs the ball himself. He’s all-but-impossible to bring down, but tends to tip over while cutting. And no matter what, the Jags still lose.

Moving on to some of the more serious and thought-provoking posts of the week.

Best Open Letter.Authors and​ Booksellers: Join The Indies First Movement” by Sherman Alexie at the American Booksellers Association website.

Here’s the plan: We book nerds will become booksellers. We will make recommendations. We will practice nepotism and urge readers to buy multiple copies of our friends’ books. Maybe you’ll sign and sell books of your own in the process. I think the collective results could be mind-boggling (maybe even world-changing).

Sounds great! I’m in!

Most Moving.The Good Father: Of God, Doubt, and Gay Relationships” by Stephen at Sacred Tension.

One Sunday morning, when I was at the end of my rope, I was on my knees during mass crying out to God for an answer. And then something happened.

I don’t know how, but I suddenly knew that God was there with me. I knew that His holiness was wrapped all around me, gathering about me like heavy smoke. In the midst of that holiness, I didn’t feel judged, I didn’t feel cast away – I felt safe. Safe for the first time in years.

Best Start to a Long Overdue Conversation.Christians, Divorce, and Marriage: On Being Excluded from Conversations” by Natalie Trust.

In the past seven years, people have questioned if I was bitter, if I had forgiven, it I would ever want to get married again, and of course were always curious if I had missed any red flags.

Very, very rarely have people asked me something like, “What was it like to go from married to single all of the sudden? Tell me about you experience.” Or “How does it feel for you to go to weddings or events where couples are a predominant part of the crowd?”

I think we can ask better questions.

And to end on a lighter note, and because it’s one of the most stunning videos I’ve seen in a long time …

Best Video.Atlas” by Coldplay (via YouTube)

Switch the player to full screen. Put on headphones. You will want to be immersed in this video.

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