Look, up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane!
It’s an unmanned drone helicopter shooting a taco from space down at you and your colleagues during lunchtime!
The Internet is going wild for Tacocopter, perhaps the next great startup out of Silicon Valley, which boasts a business plan that combines four of the most prominent touchstones of modern America: tacos, helicopters, robots and laziness.
Are you really ever that far from a taco? Our local Taco Bell is just down the street from our apartment; I could drive there and back in five minutes, allowing for a three minute wait at the drive-though. And do you really want a bag of them flung at your head by a flying robot?
But leave it to the “American Entrepreneur” to come up with an insane answer to a question nobody is asking, and then—through the wonders of advertising—make you want it. That’s the can-do, make-a-fortune, then pay-no-taxes-on-it spirit that makes our country great. If only our nanny-state government wasn’t squashing all the taco-flinging fun:
The launch of Tacocopter — which is totally real, by the way, despite some doubters, and has been around since July 2011 — is being blocked by the U.S. government.
Figures. Here we stand ready to take the lead in the burgeoning field of unmanned taco drones, and those socialists in Washington D.C. are all set to give our God-given advantage away to foreign competitors. Mark my words, in ten years we’ll be seeing Chinese-made aerial drones chucking egg rolls at European tourists while we still wait in drive-through lines like we’re back in the Dark Ages. That’s not the America I grew up in! Actually, it is, but it doesn’t have to be the America our children grow up in.
We don’t have to face this dystopian-nightmare future if we act now:
So get out your pitchforks, sign those petitions, start calling your local congressmen, and let them know: We want our tacos hurled at us by giant buzzing robotic helicopters, and we want them now.