More Stuff Anna Says

exasperated anna

Photo: Julia Ozab

Our daughter has a great sense of humor, and says some really funny things. We try to write them down as soon as she says them. We often share them on Facebook and if they’re brief enough I post them to Twitter too. Here are some more of the funniest ones…

Julia was tossing her in the pool one evening and told her that she could only do it while in the pool. Anna asked “Why?” Julia said “If I tried to do it out of the pool, it would kill me.” Anna’s response? “It wouldn’t kill you, Mom, because then you wouldn’t be alive!”

Once when I asked her what she was thinking, she said “If you could read my mind, you’d know.”

Another time, while hanging upside down off the couch: “It’s hard to think when your brain’s upside down.”

While “training” one of her plush elephant toys: “It’s hard to keep an elephant on schedule.”

Back in the pool— this time doing flips: “I did a double. Now I did a triple! Now a quadriple!”

On her jewelry choices: “I’m wearing two bracelets, one for each wrist, but I’m wearing one necklace because I only have one neck.”

Playing on her iPad: “I don’t like level three! I’m skipping level three from now on!”  “All level threes?” I asked. “Yes!”

Once she tried to say either “it slipped my mind” or “I lost track of time,” but it came out as “I lost my mind.”

One day while throwing out grape stems for the birds to collect and build nests: “I’ll just toss it out here for whoever gets it first. And no, I didn’t name one of them ‘Whoever Gets It First.'”

At Princess Night with the Eugene Emeralds: “They should have a Princess Night every week!”

Later that night, when it was time to leave: “But, Mom, I want to stay and party!”

And the next morning:”I slept in because I was out partying last night past my bedtime.”

This next one came up while watching the original Toy Story. Right after the scene when Sid performs the first “double brain transplant” by switching the doll’s head with the pteranodon’s head, Anna looks over and says “That’s not how you do a real brain transplant.”

Julia related this one on Facebook: “Anna has created a new word … ‘Talentor’—someone who has many talents. (And she is apparently the first example of the word).”

Another Anna word: seatbeltilization n. The act of using a seat belt.

Just the other night I was talking to her from the next room. She didn’t respond, so I asked”Anna can you hear a word I’m saying?” Her answer? “No.”

And finally a poem that starts with a story …

I said a phrase to Anna today that I haven’t said in months, because she got tired of it. “That’s the plan, Ann … a.” It slipped out and as soon as I said it, I apologized. “That’s okay,” she replied. “I’m not mad, Dad. Or sad, Dad.” “Are you glad?” I asked. “I am glad.”She paused and smiled. “Dad.”

Stuff Anna Says

Anna with my beret over her face.

Our daughter has a great sense of humor, and says some really funny things. We try to write them down as soon as she says them. We often share them on Facebook and if they’re brief enough I post them to Twitter too. Here are some of the funniest ones …

During an extra-long hug. “This is a really long hug. Is it over yet? Maybe we should cut our hugs in half. Great! It’s never going to end! Now I have to find a way to escape!”

After singing “There’s a Hole in the Bucket.” “We need to use a box for the water! We’ll wet the stone and sharpen the saw and cut the straw and fix the bucket. I’m pretty smart for a girl my age, you know.”

About Facebook. “It’s Facebook not Bookface. If it was Bookface, it would be like you with a book on your head.”

After her first night of religious education (Fall, 2012). “There’s only one way to get to heaven and that’s to be good. And if you’re not good, you go to the other place. It’s bad. It’s the devil’s habitat and he’s the king of the bad guys.”

After taking antibiotics, which she thought were Anna-biotics. “Don’t forget to give Betty her Bettybiotics.”

In the mirror to herself. “I’m never, ever going to cook for myself. I’m going to make my husband cook, like Mom does.”

Offering me Pez. “Are you sure? I’m going to eat it all. Last chance!”

While playing a game on her computer. “Great, Betty! That was my last chance to save Earth!”

Too much information. “I’m going to the bathroom now, and I’m going to make a big stinky!”

On a day she had to miss school because she was sick. “I’m so mad, I am almost angry!”

Also to herself in the mirror. “I think I’m going to have to be a regular girl. Being amazing is hard work.”

Bouncing around the living room. “Bounce! Bounce! Wobble, wobble! What am I? I’m a kangaroo made of Jello!” (She loves kangaroos.)

Following a sneeze, Julia asked if she needed a tissue. “No. It was a non-snot sneeze.”

At the park, going down the slide. “You have to find friction before gravity finds you.”

This next one takes a bit of a setup. One day, Anna said she thought she heard me drop the laundry downstairs (I toss the bags over the balcony instead of carrying them down). I said “No, if you heard anything fall off the balcony it would have been me and that’s wouldn’t be good.” Anna said “It would be fun.” I said “No it wouldn’t,” and Anna replied “It would be fun before you hit the ground.”

And just yesterday I asked her what she had for lunch. “I had a bagel and cream cheese. Then during recess, I spent half of recess cleaning cream cheese off my face.”

She’s right. Being amazing is hard work!