More Stuff Anna Says

exasperated anna

Photo: Julia Ozab

Our daughter has a great sense of humor, and says some really funny things. We try to write them down as soon as she says them. We often share them on Facebook and if they’re brief enough I post them to Twitter too. Here are some more of the funniest ones…

Julia was tossing her in the pool one evening and told her that she could only do it while in the pool. Anna asked “Why?” Julia said “If I tried to do it out of the pool, it would kill me.” Anna’s response? “It wouldn’t kill you, Mom, because then you wouldn’t be alive!”

Once when I asked her what she was thinking, she said “If you could read my mind, you’d know.”

Another time, while hanging upside down off the couch: “It’s hard to think when your brain’s upside down.”

While “training” one of her plush elephant toys: “It’s hard to keep an elephant on schedule.”

Back in the pool— this time doing flips: “I did a double. Now I did a triple! Now a quadriple!”

On her jewelry choices: “I’m wearing two bracelets, one for each wrist, but I’m wearing one necklace because I only have one neck.”

Playing on her iPad: “I don’t like level three! I’m skipping level three from now on!”  “All level threes?” I asked. “Yes!”

Once she tried to say either “it slipped my mind” or “I lost track of time,” but it came out as “I lost my mind.”

One day while throwing out grape stems for the birds to collect and build nests: “I’ll just toss it out here for whoever gets it first. And no, I didn’t name one of them ‘Whoever Gets It First.'”

At Princess Night with the Eugene Emeralds: “They should have a Princess Night every week!”

Later that night, when it was time to leave: “But, Mom, I want to stay and party!”

And the next morning:”I slept in because I was out partying last night past my bedtime.”

This next one came up while watching the original Toy Story. Right after the scene when Sid performs the first “double brain transplant” by switching the doll’s head with the pteranodon’s head, Anna looks over and says “That’s not how you do a real brain transplant.”

Julia related this one on Facebook: “Anna has created a new word … ‘Talentor’—someone who has many talents. (And she is apparently the first example of the word).”

Another Anna word: seatbeltilization n. The act of using a seat belt.

Just the other night I was talking to her from the next room. She didn’t respond, so I asked”Anna can you hear a word I’m saying?” Her answer? “No.”

And finally a poem that starts with a story …

I said a phrase to Anna today that I haven’t said in months, because she got tired of it. “That’s the plan, Ann … a.” It slipped out and as soon as I said it, I apologized. “That’s okay,” she replied. “I’m not mad, Dad. Or sad, Dad.” “Are you glad?” I asked. “I am glad.”She paused and smiled. “Dad.”

What’s the Next Parenting Fad?

Snow plows work in tandem on U.S. 30

Snow plows on US 30 (Photo: ODOT CC BY 2.0)

First it was “Helicopter Parenting,” then the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Every few months, it seems there’s another parenting fad designed to sell books and magazines, increase TV ratings, and generate web hits. The latest? “Snow Plow Parenting.” (via ABC 13, Houston)

LOS ANGELES, CA — You’ve probably heard of “helicopter parents,” who hover over their kids all the time, but have you heard of “snow plow” parenting? It’s a new trend in this increasingly competitive world. Some experts say overparenting could end up hurting, rather than helping your child.

Parents come in all types. Sometimes we play “tiger mom,” sometimes “helicopter parent,” and now, the “snow plow parent.”

The snow plow parent pushes life’s obstacles out of his or her child’s way, be it bad grades, or being overlooked on a sports team.

So this got me wondering. “What’s the next parenting fad?” Here are some possibilities.

  • Apache Helicopter Parenting: Like regular helicopter parenting but with Hellfire missiles!
  • Bulldozer Parenting: Snow? Screw that, I want to knock down walls!
  • Paratrooper Parenting: Drop ’em behind enemy lines and let them fight their way out. What doesn’t kill them makes them stronger!
  • Aircraft Carrier Parenting: Hands-off at first, but ready to launch an air wing at a moment’s notice.
  • March to the Sea Parenting: Live sustainably while wiping out every obstacle in your path. It’s environmentally responsible destruction!

But let’s not leave out Mom (she is the only parent that counts, after all). Now that the Tiger Mom is passé, what’s her new battle hymn? Here are a few ideas.

  • Cheetah Mom: Like Tiger Mom, only faster!
  • Octopus Mom: Arms everywhere!
  • Sea Turtle Mom — Leaves them on the beach to fend for themselves. What doesn’t eat them makes them stronger!
  • Alligator Mom: Protects her own children. Eats everyone else’s!
  • Peregrine Falcon Mom — Swoops in at 200 mph with no warning! But at least it’s a quick kill.

So if you come across any of these in the next few months, remember where you saw them first.

Any suggestions of your own? Please post them in the comments below.