Stuff Anna Says

Anna with my beret over her face.

Our daughter has a great sense of humor, and says some really funny things. We try to write them down as soon as she says them. We often share them on Facebook and if they’re brief enough I post them to Twitter too. Here are some of the funniest ones …

During an extra-long hug. “This is a really long hug. Is it over yet? Maybe we should cut our hugs in half. Great! It’s never going to end! Now I have to find a way to escape!”

After singing “There’s a Hole in the Bucket.” “We need to use a box for the water! We’ll wet the stone and sharpen the saw and cut the straw and fix the bucket. I’m pretty smart for a girl my age, you know.”

About Facebook. “It’s Facebook not Bookface. If it was Bookface, it would be like you with a book on your head.”

After her first night of religious education (Fall, 2012). “There’s only one way to get to heaven and that’s to be good. And if you’re not good, you go to the other place. It’s bad. It’s the devil’s habitat and he’s the king of the bad guys.”

After taking antibiotics, which she thought were Anna-biotics. “Don’t forget to give Betty her Bettybiotics.”

In the mirror to herself. “I’m never, ever going to cook for myself. I’m going to make my husband cook, like Mom does.”

Offering me Pez. “Are you sure? I’m going to eat it all. Last chance!”

While playing a game on her computer. “Great, Betty! That was my last chance to save Earth!”

Too much information. “I’m going to the bathroom now, and I’m going to make a big stinky!”

On a day she had to miss school because she was sick. “I’m so mad, I am almost angry!”

Also to herself in the mirror. “I think I’m going to have to be a regular girl. Being amazing is hard work.”

Bouncing around the living room. “Bounce! Bounce! Wobble, wobble! What am I? I’m a kangaroo made of Jello!” (She loves kangaroos.)

Following a sneeze, Julia asked if she needed a tissue. “No. It was a non-snot sneeze.”

At the park, going down the slide. “You have to find friction before gravity finds you.”

This next one takes a bit of a setup. One day, Anna said she thought she heard me drop the laundry downstairs (I toss the bags over the balcony instead of carrying them down). I said “No, if you heard anything fall off the balcony it would have been me and that’s wouldn’t be good.” Anna said “It would be fun.” I said “No it wouldn’t,” and Anna replied “It would be fun before you hit the ground.”

And just yesterday I asked her what she had for lunch. “I had a bagel and cream cheese. Then during recess, I spent half of recess cleaning cream cheese off my face.”

She’s right. Being amazing is hard work!

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