The Worst Thing About Laundry

Laundry left in the dryers.

“#&$*$ #@#$!!!”

I begin this post with an open letter:

To the person who left their laundry in two of the downstairs dryers overnight,

GET YOUR !@#$%^&* CLOTHES!!!

David Ozab

A few weeks ago, I compared my laundry day with that of Scott Benner, author of the excellent memoir Life is Short, Laundry is Eternal. I listed some of the ways I have it better and some of the ways I have it worse. But I left out the worst part of all, perhaps because it hasn’t happened in about a year.

The worst part is when some jerk leaves his (or her) clothes in the dryer overnight.

(Judging by the clothes, it’s probably a guy.)

I apologize in advance if this individual had a sudden emergency, if he is in the hospital or dealing with an unforeseen crisis. If this is the case, well then laundry is nothing in comparison.

It isn’t the case. I know it isn’t the case. The jerk just forgot.

And to Scott Benner—I really enjoyed your book, and I am so happy for your success. I’m glad to take this opportunity to share your recent interview with Katie Couric, and I apologize for the brief twinge of envy I felt.

After all, I’m still looking for an agent, though you did get a head start on me, being a stay-at-home dad about twice as long as I have.

But will all due respect, as much as laundry sucks for you (and it certainly does), I have you beat in one area. Namely, that you have never had to pull a stranger’s laundry out of the dryer to make room for your own.

With all you’ve had to deal with, you’ve never had to deal with that jerk.

(And now that I’ve said “jerk” three times, maybe he’ll show up and get his &*!@#$% laundry!)

Ever had this happen to you? Or do you have another laundry room/laundromat complaint to share? Or just need to vent about something like I did today? It is now time for “The Airing of Grievances.”


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