What’s the Next Parenting Fad?

Snow plows work in tandem on U.S. 30

Snow plows on US 30 (Photo: ODOT CC BY 2.0)

First it was “Helicopter Parenting,” then the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Every few months, it seems there’s another parenting fad designed to sell books and magazines, increase TV ratings, and generate web hits. The latest? “Snow Plow Parenting.” (via ABC 13, Houston)

LOS ANGELES, CA — You’ve probably heard of “helicopter parents,” who hover over their kids all the time, but have you heard of “snow plow” parenting? It’s a new trend in this increasingly competitive world. Some experts say overparenting could end up hurting, rather than helping your child.

Parents come in all types. Sometimes we play “tiger mom,” sometimes “helicopter parent,” and now, the “snow plow parent.”

The snow plow parent pushes life’s obstacles out of his or her child’s way, be it bad grades, or being overlooked on a sports team.

So this got me wondering. “What’s the next parenting fad?” Here are some possibilities.

  • Apache Helicopter Parenting: Like regular helicopter parenting but with Hellfire missiles!
  • Bulldozer Parenting: Snow? Screw that, I want to knock down walls!
  • Paratrooper Parenting: Drop ’em behind enemy lines and let them fight their way out. What doesn’t kill them makes them stronger!
  • Aircraft Carrier Parenting: Hands-off at first, but ready to launch an air wing at a moment’s notice.
  • March to the Sea Parenting: Live sustainably while wiping out every obstacle in your path. It’s environmentally responsible destruction!

But let’s not leave out Mom (she is the only parent that counts, after all). Now that the Tiger Mom is passé, what’s her new battle hymn? Here are a few ideas.

  • Cheetah Mom: Like Tiger Mom, only faster!
  • Octopus Mom: Arms everywhere!
  • Sea Turtle Mom — Leaves them on the beach to fend for themselves. What doesn’t eat them makes them stronger!
  • Alligator Mom: Protects her own children. Eats everyone else’s!
  • Peregrine Falcon Mom — Swoops in at 200 mph with no warning! But at least it’s a quick kill.

So if you come across any of these in the next few months, remember where you saw them first.

Any suggestions of your own? Please post them in the comments below.

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