I’ve been blurry lately.
It’s the best way I can describe it: this feeling I have. Every day, I wake up blurry and no matter how much I try I can’t focus. I try to think, but my ideas are out of focus. I try to write, but the words are out of focus. I am out of focus.
And I need to do something to clear up the picture, but I’m not sure what it is.
I’ve felt this way on and off since the beginning of August. I came back from the 2012 Willamette Writers Conference on a huge high. I knew a letdown was inevitable, so when I had trouble writing I figured that’s what it was.
But it didn’t go away. After a couple of weeks, I blamed the lack of free time. It was still summer. My daughter was home from school. Once she started first grade and was out of the house six hours a day, I’d have the time and I’d get some work done.
She been in school for a week and a half, and I’m still struggling. The ideas aren’t coming, the words aren’t coming, I’m still blurry: out of focus.
So I’m going to try something else. Something that used to work, but that I forgot about. Back when I was still in school, when I would find myself getting blurry I’d set down what I was doing and take a walk around the campus. For a half hour, maybe forty five minutes at the most, I’d just walk in a big circle: around the library, maybe over to the art museum or one of the other buildings on campus, and then loop around past the old cemetery and return to the Music building. By the time I returned, the outside air cleared my head and I was able to think straight again.
So that’s what I’m going to do right now: as soon as I’m done typing this. I going to step outside, breathe in the cool morning air, cross the street to our neighborhood park, and walk around it a few times.
Perhaps this bends the five minute rule just a bit, but I don’t care. If I post this right now, I’ll need to find the post ahead of me so I can read it and comment on it. Then I’ll get pulled into something else online and I’ll never get out the door. I’ll miss my opportunity and I’ll lose my chance to get back in focus.
My five minutes are up and I’m out of here.