For God alone my soul in silence waits; from him comes my salvation.
—Psalm 62:1 (1979 Book of Common Prayer).
Patience has always been hard for me. I want to rush into things, and I hate waiting. That’s why I keep coming back to the above quote: “For God alone my soul in silence waits . . .” God moves in his own time, not mine.
It took me decades to finally become a Catholic (a story I’d tell here, but I’m hoping to get it published), and now that I have joined the Church the temptation is there to jump in right away. There’s so much I feel drawn to: music ministry, liturgy, education, Benedictine oblation—all areas of interest, and I certainly can’t do all of them. I need to take the time to discern my path.
Without realizing it, my priest has just given me that time. In his homily on Saturday night, he told us we were entering the next stage of our journey. As full members of the Catholic Church we would be considered Neophytes for one year.
Neophyte: a Greek word—via Latin—meaning new growth. In other words, a sapling. A little tree like the one that sits on our back balcony. A nice image.
And I realized as I sat there listening to his homily that my priest had just given me license to slow down, to wait, to be patient. So I decided, at that moment, that I would take the next year—up until Easter 2012—to just sit in the pews and be a new Catholic.
During that time I’ll be prayerfully discerning my path beyond next year, but I won’t take any steps beyond prayer and discernment until after next Easter.
Waiting won’t be easy. Patience is still hard, but I will do my best to rest in the Lord and wait in silence for his guidance.