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Macho Dad

The Good Men Project asks two parents “Are stay-at-home dads macho?

Tom Matlack replies:

Not only are stay-at-home dads macho, but all dads who show up for their kids are macho. You can’t be a dad and wall yourself off from your child. Perhaps that was the way in prior generations, but one of the greatest changes for men today is the opportunity we have to engage and learn about ourselves through our relationship with our kids.

Laura Munson agrees:

I live in a town where most of the fathers I know are able to show up at their kids’ sporting events and play performances and music recitals, and even school parties because of the close proximity to their workplace—if they have a work place. Here, many of the men are out of work, and their wives are the breadwinners. I also live in a town that is full of Montana “macho” men who strut their stuff all over the ski hill, and in the mountains, hunting, fishing, climbing—”getting after it,” as they say. I asked my son to define this “it.” He said, “It is doing what you love.” In this sense, being with your kids as much as possible is just that.

Not much of a debate on this issue, and I’m glad. To a stay-at-home dad such as myself, the suggestion that I am somehow less of a man for being a good father is ridiculous.

It’s being a good father—being there for my daughter whenever and however she needs me— that makes me a real man.

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